You Might be a Slut… Without Even Knowing

These days, in the post Sex and The City era, it’s pretty much common knowledge that women love getting laid just as much as dudes. We post dirty memes, talk openly about our Man-Crushes, even brag about our conquests just like the bros. Cuz, you know, why not? But still, there are hella people who aren’t comfortable with how ballsy females are about their sexuality these days.

I’d hate to have to be the one to tell you this, but if you fart out loud, gossip about your boos, and you’re openly comfortable with getting your freak on, there are lots of folks in the world who just might consider you a hoe.

Damn. I’m a hoe.

The sad reality is there are a lot of folks who think like the fella who posted the above comment (sorry homey, but I had to put this on blast.) They are the ones with traditional values and old school ways of thinking, who wish for the good old days when only men had the pleasure of experiencing variety. Booooo.

Within the past few years, in an effort to fight back against this type of gender role drama, folks started tossing around the term “slut shaming,” as if sluts who are sluts should be proud of being sluts. I don’t agree with that either. To me, the REAL definition of a slut is someone (male, female, or a whatever) who is not responsible about their shit. Someone whose abundant sexual appetite negatively affects others. Someone who has no respect for their self or the people around them. They’re messy and surrounded by drama. They thrive on attention and they don’t have their shit together. Ewww. They should totally be ashamed, shame on them and their parents and their parents’ parents. You have a right to do whatever you want, and I have a right to judge yo stank ass, refuse to date you or let you kick it with me and the homies. I don’t care. We don’t love them hoes.

 

On the flip-side though, if a person loves sex and they’re responsible and honest with their partners and they have their shit together, how can I judge? How can you? How is it anybody’s business but theirs? Personally, being in the music business has me finding myself around some sexy ass men all the time. I’m not turned on by the idea of sex without intimacy. Not because I am so ethical or any bullshit like that, it’s because I get off on being adored. (Its an ego thing.) But I could easily have lots of sexual partners if I wanted, and if the time ever comes when I do crave variety I’m not going to deny myself.

Is that the worst thing in the world?

I mean think about it–this is the same free pass society gives to men.

A dude can have multiple kids with multiple chix and openly be anti-monogamy, and nobody intervenes unless the dude is spreading a disease or beating womens’ asses or something. And sometimes not even then!!!

In 2014, what incentive do women have to pretend as if that gender bias stuff is ok?

None.

Zip.

Zero.

Zilch.

Nada.

The days of pretending to be like the Virgin Mary are over. This ain’t Bethlehem and I like naked men.

Don’t gimme that crap about how women are supposed to be the more reserved ones. Why? Who says so? The Bible? The Quran? The Torah? My cooter isn’t religious. And it’s not my fault that the chapter about “Keeping that thang on lock” was missing from the vagina instruction manual I received when I was born. More people need to wise up, so if you agree with me please feel free to share this article. (I can handle all prospective haters.) All I’m saying is we need to be realistic. Not every lady who wants to fuck is a hoe, and not every hoe deserves to be treated like a lady.

If your personal views lead you to have a hard time telling the sluts from the grown ups, then that’s a YOU problem. Cuz there is certainly a difference. In all things in life, it’s important to remember that it ain’t what you do, it’s how you do it.

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Nikki Lynette

by Nikki Lynette

Founder of The DM. In addition to being Creative Director of The DM, Nikki Lynette is a Chicago native who loves all things badass. She is a thriving indie recording artist whose music appears in tv shows, commercials, and film. Find her being offensive on Twitter, Facebook, Soundcloud, Instagram, YouTube, and every other place where interneters be interneting.